In Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll stated, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” I think that quote is valid for a lot of people today, a lot more people than would like to admit it. Many people wish they could go where they see everyone else going, and many more struggle with listening to everyone around them telling them where they should go. Most people genuinely know where they want to go but struggle with fear, doubt, and the nagging belief that they don’t have what it takes to get there. That last group of people has a special place in my heart. Those are my people, not because I am there now but because I have made the arduous journey from that place of those destructive, limiting beliefs. I can remember well that place where fear, shame, and doubt held me in bondage to lies that I had become so intimately connected to. And I want to help everyone to find their freedom from that pain.

THE INNER DIALOGUE

I don’t think the real problem with most of us is whether we know where we are going. The more significant issue is that we have not allowed ourselves to take the inner journey of genuinely being aware of where we have come from. I know that this can sound silly at first thought. After all, we are our story's main characters. But I am not discussing whether we can recall facts about our lives or specific experiences or memories. Becoming fully aware of our own story goes deeper into the internal narrative we have written on the pages of our story. Think about this: every day of our lives, we write the script we are living. How things made us feel, what they made us think, and how we feel about ourselves and our experiences were all written on the pages of our hearts. And we live by what that narrative leads us to believe about ourselves.

AVOIDING REALITY

I remember looking in the mirror one day and asking myself, “Why are you so hard on yourself? Why do you constantly tell yourself how worthless you are?” I couldn’t answer. But I know this: we are not created to live in constant fear and shame. We are not wired to constantly be anxious about whether we will feel successful, worthy, or simply enough. When the narrative within us creates that much chaos, we will seek balance somewhere else; we are wired for it. Whether it be addictions, self-harm, emotional/relational struggles, or anger, our need to make sense of the words in our hearts will often lead us to destructive choices that feel, for the moment, to bring peace. But we know the truth. All these things do is temporarily numb the pain of the narrative we speak to ourselves. All they do is allow us a few minutes of reprieve from the pain of feeling out of control and not being at peace with who we are and where we are heading in life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I know this may seem foreign to some. Many live from an utterly positive frame of mind, knowing fully and confidently where they are headed. But, in my coaching practice and my own life, I know many struggle daily to believe in themselves and their life path. Whether you suffered abuse as a child, survived some other massive trauma in your life, or whether you just forgot how to believe in yourselves, I know what that destructive and harmful internal narrative can do to you. I am with you. All those destructive choices I mentioned above: I have struggled with and overcome them all.

FACING THE FEAR

If you are like most people, especially in America, you want peace, joy, and balance right now. We have programmed ourselves to want instant gratification, instant easing of pain, and instant peace. If only it were that easy. It is not easy. It can be tricky as hell. But I know this: it IS possible. In future blog posts, we will dive deeper into how our internal narrative works and how to master it for our good. But here is the first step in that process: Awareness. Yes, raising awareness inside our souls about how we “hold” the story we have already lived can open many doors. It can pave the way for real and lasting freedom. Let me leave you with this question – What are you most afraid of? I don’t mean things like spiders, snakes, and heights. I mean, deep down inside your soul, where that voice resides. What is it you fear most? When you can answer that, you can begin the journey through your story to raise awareness of the times that narrative spoke to you. Everything in life has a birth, and finding the birth of THAT narrative can mean everything to you. If you would like to know more about how this process works, email me at [email protected]  or text (903.617.8101) for a FREE 15-minute consultation on how Be The Firefly can help you discover your limitless potential for experiencing the life you deserve.